my holiday

the thought crossed my mind a few days ago, that this holiday coming up is not just a hassle of family get-togethers and trying to call it a vacation from work. it is the holiday of this blog, my holiday, a day to give thanks and well up as much gratitude as i can. i was feeling a bit low on that a week or two ago, so it feels good to have it coming back.

i am thankful for my husband, who not only supports my rearrangement of the house, but adds more ideas to it so that it will work even better. i am thankful for my sister who, in going through her own discouraging time at work, reminds me that i am not the only one who feels how i do about my job. and that is just today.

i was shaken the other day, when my husband described the past few months as the happiest time in his life. i was shaken because i could not say the same for myself. i could not muster up enough gratitude for what i currently have to be completely happy. i got to thinking of what the happiest time in my life would be, and what was the worst. instead i slowly realized that i always seem to have very happy and sad times no matter what my situation. and i guess that's pretty good. for now, i will be thankful for that.

unclutter time

i've been thinking about my packrat problem recently, then i saw this post today. i guess it is time to get started. in some ways, i have been helping my husband do this in the kitchen already. and we are planning a major rearrangement of the house, so a good decluttering first would make things easier. it has helped that we live in a tiny house, so there is a manageable amount of stuff. the targets will be my office (to be converted to the dining room, which i think will actually help me work there more) and the shelves of papers and other junk from college. it would be nice to have more storage space in the basement and that's the only way to get it.

dance

i have been feeling increasingly frustrated at work and at home. i think part of it is that i haven't gotten to dance recently. over the past year, my husband has gotten his dream motorcycle, his dream camera, but he doesn't seem to understand that what i wish for can't be bought. i watched a video this evening titled "dances of ecstasy" and it reminded me of how important dance is to connecting with my soul. a connection that feels quite weak lately. there was a quote that went something like - dance is gratitude, saying thank you for existence.

part of me feels i need to do more of that, to do it right now. the other part of me is very tired and wants to go to bed. i think the second part is winning for now.